The personalities of Organisation XIII
by DeathRider AX
Summary: The funny and ridiculous personalities of Organisation XIII
1. Roxas

(DONE BY DEATHRIDER AX)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the kingdom hearts or any of it's components

The Organisation XIII: #13, Roxas

The Key of Stupidity

Personality: A child, acts as arrogant as Sora. Has the funky spikey hair too!

Weapons: Keys, copyrighted by Sora

Story: Roxas was copied and distributed by Sora corperated. Actually, the keys were the key to the Castle in The World That Never Was. But alas, Roxas was attacked when he was opening the door so he started swinging the blade around frantically which killed the Heartless. He found out it was a great weapon but chipped the blade and couldn't open the door. They made another key for him, but again he took it, fought and chipped it again. The only reason he left the organisation is because they wouldn't give him another key and locked him out. He left and fought with Riku because Riku wouldn't pay him back the money he borrowed from him.

Friends: Hayner, Olette and Pence also known as the drug addicts. But they won't real so they acted stupid as they were sniffing coke and "superman"

Most distinctive feature: The blonde hair which was also copyrighted by Sora

Battle Place: The giant circle. He wanted to fight in the nobody arena but forgot he was locked out, he promised to defeat Sora but again he was so stupid that he forgot he was part of Sora

Finally: He wanted to wield chopsticks but he found them hard to use. Spoons were also a change but he never drank soup. The keys he's using now has been repaired but he chipped them before he could even attack. Again he also forgot to open the door. He has infinite health.

Desperation Attack: He jumps up, swings his keyblades like mad and start shooting circles at you. He wanted to use square and triangles at you but it didn't cause enough damage. Sora takes major damage because he's most hated shape is a circle.

The is it for Roxas, coming up is Larxene


	2. Larxene

(Done by WatcherOfTheDark)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the kingdom hearts or any of it's components

The Organisation XIII: #12, Larxene

The Desperate Nymph

Personality: Bitchy. Sometimes innocent if she wants something from you. Cries in desperate attempt to get attention. Never really works though.

Weapons: Knives, originally Kunai, but read on to find out.

Story: Larxene was meant to use kunai, but because she offended Zexion, he stole her kunai. Larxene went berserk, mainly because she had to bargain for 7 hours or so just to get a discount. Also the main reason why Zexion became emo, he had plans for the kunai. Larxene decided to sneak into the kitchen and steal ten knives, but dropped the last two when she saw Zexion and her kunai. She was scarred for life… then got over it in five minutes.

Friends: Marluxia, because no one would relate to her bitching, although she caught him sneaking earmuffs…

Most distinctive feature: Looks like a cockroach.

Battle Place: The nobody circle, although it was supposed to be the kitchen, there was too much blood and Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix, or any Kingdom Hearts for that matter, was rated E after all…

Finally: She was also the candidate to be the character to use chopsticks and was actually good at it, but every one else thought Organisation XIII members should not be seen using a pair of huge sticks of doom so Larxene settled for knives since she wanted eating utensils and the Zexion Kunai incident made Larxene sick.

Desperation Attack: She stands in the center of the arena and shoots lightning out of her palms, rotating and lightning strikes from the sky. Sora would always have nuclear side effects… even her fellow Organisation XIII members would suffer. But not Larxene… she is, after all, a cockroach.

This is the end of Larxene. Next is Marluxia.


	3. Marluxia

(DONE BY DEATHRIDER AX)

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor any of it's characters.

Organisation XIII: #11, Marluxia

The Dancing Assassin

Personality: Girly pink hair, giant scythe that again looks like a nobody symbol.

Story: He has the girly pink hair even as a human form. His parents abandoned him because they thought he was a transvestite. He got his weapon after defeating the Grim Reaper in Port Royal. That's why the Grim Reaper has a pendulum as a weapon. Marluxia added his own "girly touch" to the scythe. He has power over flowers and he can make the flower petals more girly then ever, killing men on first touch.

Friends: Larxene, his only friend and they got along great talking about boys and coloring their nails.

Most distinctive feature: The pink hair. He got that from screaming like a girl too much!

Battle Place: The castle oblivion nobody arena. It has the shape of flowers on it. That was the work of Marluxia's "girly touch" too!

Finally: During the start of the battle he went and whisper into Sora's ear saying "I had sex with Kairi" which caused Sora to lose focus and have a counter on his head before he breaks up with Kairi. Marluxia also causes Sora to like flowers during his desperation, causing gay amounts of damage.

Desperation attack: Floats around and causes flowers shape like towers throughout the battle field to rise, which Sora to become gay and take damage again.

That's it for Marluxia, next up is Luxord


	4. Luxord

( DONE BY DEATHRIDER AX)

Disclaimer: I do not OWN anything in this fanfiction!!!

The Organisation XIII, #10: Luxord

The gambler of Girlfriends

Personality: Smug REALLY smug, also counts time hey but who's counting?

Weapons: Cards, cards with sexy women on them

Story: Before he turned into a nobody, he was gambling. He gambled away $999,999,999 in one day but by stealing and doing prostitution got he $$$ back. He wears earrings as he had way too much money. His money is in a $ sign, he always talk anything about $ or time. His room is filled with clocks and his bed is even made with cards. After he became a nobody, he gambled away all of the money he borrowed from all the organisation XIII. The only reason he is #10 is because he gambled away $10, 000.

Friends: No one. He gambled away all their money

Most distinctive feature: The earrings. Shows how money minded he is

Battle Place: Some place in The Castle That Never Was which he made a barrier so that Sora can't die from jumping off.

Finally: The "time" bar is how much patience their girlfriend has. And if it runs out, the girlfriend will break up. And it's unknown why he doesn't just stop time to kill Sora.

He also says "stop wasting time"

Desperation Attack: Lays out 52 cards and jumps around picking up the cards. Sora's most feared hurt is a papercut but doesn't care about a masamune cut. After that is the fight to see who can insult each other's girlfriend best. Choose the best insult!

Luxord has ran out of time, next is Demyx


	5. Demyx

(Done by EvariceOfDarkAndLight)

Disclaimer: I own nothing if not Yoko Shimomura and Motoi Sakuraba would work together.

The Organisation XIII, #9: Demyx

The Crybaby Nocturne

Personality: Retarded, nothing worth mentioning but he does like water… duh.

Weapons: Sitar with a built in water spout.

Story: Back then in the 18's, Demyx, or Myde as he was known, made a living by playing weird trumpet music, even pianos could be heard. What is weird is that he was only one man but the music was like 15 trumpets and 5 pianos were being played at once. Then one day, some weird person decided to come up with some game called Kingdom Hearts and invited Yoko Shimomura who has never met Myde, to make the music. When Myde Heard KH's soundtracks, he committed suicide cause the music was what Myde played to earn a living, even though the thing is, Myde was in California all his life and Shimomura was in Japan all along and Myde took the whole issue seriously…

Friends: Zexion, not really a friend, more of polar opposite of Demyx so he tried to be friends with emo boy. Axel.

Most distinctive feature: His sitar. He loves it so much that he once tried to elope with his sitar but failed, since the sitar couldn't run. He loves it so much that it is the reason Zexion is called emo (his hair covers his face, which was disfigured) and why Xigbar wears an eye patch.

Battle Place: Somewhere in Hallow Bastion.

Finally: He is the most pathetic member of the organization because he did not 'die' at the hands of Sora. When Sora was going to deliver the final blow, Demyx suddenly did the unexpected… he cried. Yes, he cried himself to 'death' pathetic I know.

Also, his water form thingies are also the only thing that keeps him company apart from bugging Zexion and being chased by Axel.

Desperation Attack: He shoots out lots of geysers in an effort to impale Sora but fails miserably cause he was too weak.

Demyx is crying right now so next will be Axel.


	6. Axel

(Done by EvariceOfDarkAndLight)

Disclaimer: Don't own KH.

The Organisation XIII, #8: Axel

The faggot of Dancing Flames

Personality: Cocky, Stuck Up and Gay.

Weapons: Chakram, the only thing not gay about Axel.

Story: Axel… the one who changed Internet history… with 9 WORDS. More specifically That one sentence changed everything. This is the direct quote.

Axel: I wanted to see Roxas. He… was the only one I liked…** He made me feel… like I had a heart.**

Back to story: Because of that one sentence, is now flooded with Axel and Roxas pairing yaoi fanfiction or in other words AkuRoku or something like that. Nothing is wrong actually, just when you try to find a good fanfiction to read, AkuRoku appears. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT AXEL…

Friends: Roxas (obviously), Demyx.

Most distinctive feature: The fact that he keeps on says 'got it memorised' to the extent that its annoying.

Battle Place: Depends.

Finally: He is pyro. His battle field is so cheap it can actually HURT YOU.

Desperation Attack: Turns the battle field to a gayish fire. Which hurts Sora as it is too damn gay

Axel is trying to pratice his "Burn to the ground speech", next is Saix.


	7. Saix

(DONE BY DEATHRIDERAX)

Disclaimer: I do not own…. Arh what the hell. If after so many chapter of me and my friend writing if u don't get it it's useless!!!

The Organisation XIII: #7 Saix

The T.V Diviner

Personality: Emotionless, VERY emotionless!

Weapons: A giant remote control. Changes the big T.V(explained later) to soap operas.

Story: It all started when Sora reached Xemnas and Xemnas turned around and said "My Kingdom Hear…. WHAT THE HELL!?" He's "Kingdom Hearts" has turned into a giant T.V. Riku stepped forward and started saying "Ooooo, Winnie The Pooh is on!" The rest scooted away from him. Saix appeared and started saying that he changed Kingdom Hearts into a T.V because he could.

Friends: Xemnas, well…WAS Xemnas. After the T.V incident they broke up.

Most distinctive feature: The blue mullet(Long hair). Still wonder if he is a girl, boy or transverse.

Battle Place: A room with a transparent room facing the T.V!

Finally: When Sora enters the battlefield, Saix was watching Teletubbies. While he was watching it, Sora came and talked non-stop. At the climax, Saix turned around and started swearing Sora and when he turned back it was a commercial brake. His favorite Teletubby is Twinky-Winky( Thanks Wikipedia) . Then the battle started. He only goes berserk because he missed the Teletubbies. He goes back to normal when the show comes back on.

Desperation Attack: Missing Teletubbies so goes berserk and starts swinging his remote control around. Smack pre-school stuff everywhere. Actually it's not suppose to hurt Sora it's suppose to make him stronger because of Sora being childish. But again, despo attack MUST hurt so…yeah.

Saix is watching Teletubbies and we won't disturb him, next up is Zexion.


	8. Zexion

(Done by Evarice)

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own either of them.

The Organisation XIII: #6 Zexion

The Cloaked Chef

Personality: Emo, if he's happy, you're dreaming.

Weapons: Depends. He uses his book of emo poetry and stuff in battle because of orders from Xemnas.

Story: He stole Larxene's kunai and wanted to use them as weapons, but got emo when Xemnas refused to let him. He settled for a book. When he said that to Xemnas, Xemnas was pleased with Zexion's originality, but immediately changed his mind when he saw it was a book on cooking. Zexion claimed that food would motivate him in combat, but Xemnas didn't buy that. Eventually, he used a book of emo stuff.

Friends: Demyx, Lexaeus, Vexen and Xigbar.

Most distinctive feature: His hair covers his face so I couldn't see.

Battle place: Destiny isles (after destruction).

Finally: Zexion is prone to trap you in a place called book world. It is a place where you would be tortured by ponies because Zexion swapped books. It only truly damages Sora because he is immature and stupid.

Desperation attack: Three spotlights appear. They will start lighting up and you have to go to the spot that lights up after 13 counts. If you fail, you will take massive damage because it will rain meteors… shaped like books… but they are in fact COOKBOOKS OF DOOM…

Zexion is cooking a meal, so next is Lexaeus.


	9. Lexaeus

(DONE BY DEATHRIDER AX)

Disclaimer: Owning kingdom hearts, don't make me laugh!!

The Organisation XIII: #05, Lexaeus

The Transvestite Hero

Personaility: Quiet…really quiet…and has "manly breast"

Weapons: A Giant Tomahawk, the handle is bigger than his "Ding-a-ling"…or was it vice-versa?

Story: Lexaeus, was born when he was undergoing a sex change when the operation killed him instead. Lexaeus woke up in the Hospital the never was, browsed the Library that Never Was, and Left the Was the Never was. Then he went to the guys toilet and screamed. He broke the sound, light, and Toilet barrier. He found out he had breast AND "it".Although his peeing percentage increased by a full 100

Friends: Zexion and Vexen and Xaldin. They still stare at his "man-boobs"

Most distinctive feature: His HUGE. He has more muscles than a adult champion-weightlifter. And the man-boobs to go with it

Battle Place: The Nobody Circle. He's kinda to small to fit there. That's why he spent Luxord's money to renovate the place.

Finally: He also wanted to wield double tomahawks but unfortunately it cost more of Luxord's money to make another one. And he didn't have the patients to wait. So he stuck with one

Desperation Attack: Flies up into the air and unleashes his "transvestite" power. When hit, Sora changes sex. He also make the ground so gay the it rises up in pain. This causes Sora to become a transvestite too.

Lexaeus is training his man-boobs so next up is Vexen


	10. Vexen

(Done By Evarice)

Disclaimer: You are reading this. Means I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

The Organisation XIII: #04, Vexen

The Chilly Addict.

Personaility: Crazy. Stays in his lab until dusk and stays there, sniffing his own potion and maybe some crack.

Weapons: A shield.

Story: Vexen started out as a scientist working for the company Kingdom Hearts to make new potions for Shinra in the 1870s. But it turned out to change the soldiers to angsty emo people. The worst case happened to be a person named Cloud Strife. He was fired and resorted to sniffing crack and his own potion, which were addictive. When he was caught, he killed himself and became a nobody.

Friends: Lexaeus, Zexion, and I cant think of anymore.

Most distinctive feature: His long hair, which is not blue, and tendency to laugh manically at random intervals.

Battle Place: Twilight Town (the mansion)

Finally: He intended to use crack and potions as his weapons but his addiction made him too weak to give his 'fortunate volunteers' his potions.

Desperation Attack: Creates aniti-Sora to slice you up in a manner that a drug addict suffering withdrawal symptoms.

Vexen is sniffing crack. Next is Xaldin.


	11. Xaldin

Disclaimer: Owning Kingdom Hearts is…dumb. As all I own is…well…nothing.

The Organisation XIII: #03, Xaldin

The Haircutting Lancer

Personality: Vain and has a manly voice, unlike the others

Weapons: Six giant lancers though 2 of them are rubber…

Story: Xaldin, also know as Dilan, was a haircutter before he died. He was the most famous haircutter in the whole world. Until a freak accident which was he cut 1 strand more than needed on a customer. He commited sucide…by cutting off all his hair. After he became a nobody, he went to Nobody Haircutting Institution and got a Degree in the school. When he went to the castle the never was they recruited him as they never had a hairdresser in their castle but remembering how he died, he swore never to cut his hair…EVER

Friends: Xigbar…with his haircutting and Xigbar's "shaver" there is nothing that they can't accomplish

Most distinctive feature: The dreadlocks and sideburns. As I said he swore NEVER to cut his hair

Battle Place: Beast Castle (The Bridge) The only place he could find with wind.

Finally: He loves his spears so much that he traded in his cutting scissors for the lancers but he still uses the lancers as scissors though.

Desperation attack: The spears form a sexy lady which seduces Sora and pals with a love beam. Undodgeable due to the wide "attack range"

Xaldin is cutting hair and chopping heads so next up is Xigbar


	12. Xigbar

(Done By DeathRider AX)

Disclaimer: ALL SHALL FEAR THAT I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS!

The Organisation XIII, #02, Xigbar

The Buy-1-get-1-free tickler

Personality: The most obvious member of Organisation XIII he tries to act gangster like but strikes fear into…no one…at all. And tries to get discounts for…well…everything

Weapons: Guns of tickling…TICKLING FEAR ALL!

Story: It doesn't take a genius to know that Xigbar or Dilan as he was commonly known was crazy. Lots of mental hospitals wouldn't take him in. He was also in Pokemon but kept summoning his own creation "Discountmon". It's only attack was asking for discounts. Anyway back to Xigbar, he got his weapons from a black market as tickling was strictly forbidden in the Organisation but he managed to get a discount. His "Discountmon" was also sold at a discount… idiots.

Friends: Luxord. He only befriended Luxord for his gambling cash. Money face bastard

Most distinctive feature: His ponytail. He tried to ask Xaldin to cut for him but decide a ponytail was gangster like…still not threatening

Battle Place: The Castle That Never Was... can't tell you the name because of Xigbar changing the name 100++ times

Finally: Xigbar was trying out his guns when he tickled someone to death…that "person" was Vexen but he came back to life as we all know nobodies can't die

Desperation Attack: Changes the stage to a small square then sends out millions of tickling hands of DOOM!! Tries to tickle Sora to death than rotates his guns to send out MORE hands of doom! TICKLING DOOM I TELL YOU!

This is the second last chapter…once the epilogue and conclusion chapter comes out we'll start Kingdom Hearts Interviews and please send in questions because if your fans of this fanfic then your gonna LOVE Kingdom Hearts Interviews. Also done in collaboration with Evarice!! Thanks for reading the last chapter is coming up and is done by both Evarice AND me. BYE! Thanks for all the support!


	13. Xemnas

(Done Evarice)

Disclaimer: This is the last member… since you read this, you know I don't own KH.

The Organisation XIII: #1, Xemnas

The Moody Superior

Personality: Moody, many mood swings. A minute he looks at Kingdom Hearts and praises it, next he is screaming at you trying to kill you in a rage, then he's all hysterical when he 'dies'.

Weapons: Light Saber things… copyrighted by Star Wars.

Story: Xemnas was a nutcase. He was black listed in all mental hospitals world wide. He is better recognised as 'Mansex' as that was his nickname. He went mental and tried to commit suicide… with a plastic spoon. The FBI, CIA, Swat Team and other secret services decided to end it. Xemnas put up a fight by gathering retards such as the Freeshooter Braig, and Whirlwind Lancer Dilan. The most well known follower was Ansem, so every one figured the name Xemnas's name came from Ansem…

Friends: Non-existent beings from Kingdom Hearts. Correct, he has imaginary friends, all adopted from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

Most distinctive feature: His mink coat. Other than that, his manic ranting of Kingdom Hearts could count as one.

Battle Place: Kingdom Hearts.

Finally: Before Xemnas the XIIIIIII's death, he gave his son, which is Xemnas, a pair of Light Sabers. His fathers last words where "Son… if a group… of weird people with more of those things… you must kill them… they will sue you…" Xemnas lived by his father's last words.

Desperation Attack: Lasers. Lots of them. They where the only thing that could actually HARM an insect, which sets him apart from other members of Organisation XIII. They where intended as a defense against the weird people Xemnas's late father talking about. Xemnas awaits their arrival well prepared, at least until Sora came along…

This is the end. Next is the last chapter. Please send in questions for our next fanfic. Oh yes if any fangirl would like to threaten us, please use this as an opportunity and send questions as well.


	14. Conclusion

The Conclusion Chapter

Disclaimer: FINAL CHAPTER! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING

(MADE BY DEATHRIDER AX AND EVARICE)

DR (Deathrider): Today we bring you a very special chapter of the Personalities of Organisation XIII…

DR: Today we will be giving you a taste of Kingdom Hearts Interviews but sadly this is the last chapter!

Evarice: So lets get this on!

1st person to be interviewed…Roxas!

Roxas: Why am I here again?

Evarice: We trapped you and your keys

Roxas: How did you know where I lived

(Evarice gives him a "captain obvious" look)

Evarice: Lucky guess now can we get this over with

DR: What do you think of the other organization XIII members?

Roxas: Well I knida like Axel…

(Shows gay look)

Roxas: Shut up yaoi fan girls! I saw your corny fanfictions on my brand new laptop made by No-sony!

DR: Arghh! GET ON WITH IT

Roxas: Fine! Well I did see Larxene at the Nobody Supermarket and she was bitching to a pineapple…yup same bitchy bitch Larxene. BITCH!!!!

Evarice: You still haven't said how you think about her!

Roxas: Oh man I feel sorry for you DeathRider having to put up with him all day

DR: YOU wanna try?

Roxas: Urrr no no thanks anyway Saix bought a new big screen TV that filled his room

(Cell phone rings)

Roxas: Hold on

(Picks up celly it has a key on it)

Roxas: YEAH mum! Yeah yeah nag nag nag yeah yeah someone set my bike on fire yeah yeah….WHAT!?

Evarice: Go go get out of our faces NOW!

Roxas: Yeah yeah bye bye!

DR: Gonna go for a operation to check how much brain cells I got left

2nd : Larxene

(Larxene is sitting on a chair burning paper)

DR: So how did you get into the organization?

Larxene: I was burning pineapple and I saw this 12 gay freaks touching each other…yeah I decided to join them to seduce them then I found out they weren't gay and they stopped me from quitting as we have been marked on facfiction by Yaoi fangirls and they wanted me as a stress relive person and …( continues her bitching)

Evarice: Wanna use her as a stress relive person on us?

DR: Sure

(They beat Larxene to a pulp with a broom)

3rd: Marluxia

(Marluxia comes in with a pink robe and a flower)

Marluxia (In gay voice): I wish you prosperity and love and…

(After finishing his speech Marluxia sprinkles flowers on DR and Evarice)

Evarice (With irritated face): Here is your question! HOW DID YOU BECOME GAY!?

Marluxia: What are you talking about (waves hand like a gay) I'm not gay!

DR: Oh really?

(DR pulls out a card labeled "Gay member for life club: Marluxia")

Marluxia: That doesn't prove anything!

(DR pulls out another card labeled " Yaoi fanGIRLS club: Marluxia")

Marluxia (Hesistating): So…So what!

Evarice: I had enough of this!

(Evarice pulls out a picture of a hunky guy and waves it)

Evarice: Want a hunky guy? Want a hunky guy then go get it! (Throws picture into air)

(Marluxia chases the picture)

DR: Glad we got rid of that freak

4th: Luxord

Evarice: Lets get on with this before I run out of brain cells!

DR: You have a brain? Nevermind so Luxord how desperate are you for money?

Luxord: I am not desperate!

(DR throws a penny on the ground)

Luxord: Oooo! Penny! (gets into lord of the rings voice) My precious all mine ALL MINE!!!

DR: I've seen desperate! But that is it!

Evarice: 1 more question…so how do you like being the only organization member not to be assiociated with Yaoi fangirls?

Luxord: PENNY ALL MINE!

Evarice: Urrr good enough for me!

(Luxord is chased off stage with another penny)

5th: Demyx

Evarice: So Demyx how is it being associated WITH yaoi fangirls

Demyx: I wanted Axel but he was already taken but now I like Zexion. He is so hot! Emo is the new black

DR: Urrr did I really need to know that?

Demyx: You asked for it!

DR: NOT ME! HIM!

(DR points to Evarice)

Evarice: ME?

Demyx: HIM?

DR: WHO?

Demyx: WHERE?

Evarice: WHY?

Demyx: I LOVE ZEXION!!

(Demyx is shoved off stage with girly boyband music)

Evarice: ME?

DR: He's gone we can stop that now!

Evarice: Oh, ok!

6th: Axel

(Axel is sitting on the couch drinking extra hot extra spicy cocoa)

DR: Ok the most obvious question is… Why did Roxas made you feel like you had a heart?

Axel: He gave me this! (Shows a heart shape chocolate box)

Evarice: Right…

(Whispers in DR ears)

Evarice: I'm already scared in interviewing this bastard!

DR: Just 1 more minute!

(Axel is seen standing on the couch)

Axel (Screams at audience): Tell me who you love!

(Everyone remains slient but Roxas)

Roxas: AXEL!

Evarice: Don't do that it speaks ill of you!

DR: GET HIM OFF THE STAGE! AND MY COUCH!

(People lure him away with gay yaoi fanfics)

NOTE: SO NOW YOU KNOW! THE LAST FEW WILL NOT BE INTERVIEWED AS THIS FANFIC IS WAY TOO LONG OR KINDA IS TO ME SO GET YOUR QUESTIONS COMING IN AS THE FIRST CHAPTER WILL BE IN 1 WEEK! THE FIRST INTERVIEWER IS…SORA AND EVARICE WILL BE INTERVIEWING HIM! THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND GOOD BYE!!!!


End file.
